Growing up, I was the kid who whined when things didn’t go to plan. Things, especially those associated with my career, held more importance than relationships, community, and even my own health. There was a time when I achieved something that people my age could only dream of, and instead of expressing gratitude, I chose to feel like a failure because “I wanted more.”
As a teenager who was still learning to make sense of the world, I was made to believe that there is only one path to success. That if you stop for a second to take in the beauty of where you are, you will be left behind. That life is too short so you miss out if you surpass your timelines. As I turn 25 next month, I don’t stand by the same notions anymore. I know that multiple paths can lead me to the same goals. I know the world won’t end if I take a break and live in the moment.
Throughout April, I kept thinking about what life has taught me about the rat race. I realised that consistency, not comparison or speed, is the key to achieving anything meaningful in life. For instance, 5 minutes spent in your own company in complete silence every day amounts to 2.5 hours of quiet time every month. That does hold significance.
A day after I sat for my 11th Actuarial exam last month, I dealt with the most horrific pain in my arms for close to 12 hours. There was no evident cause and no noticeable signs until my cousin (who is a psychologist) mentioned that it could be all the stress that I had allowed to accumulate in my body in the last few months leading up to the exam. I have written 10 intense exams in the last four years, but it was after a long time I placed a goal above my health, and my entire life felt out of proportion. Over the years, I have realised that people who prioritise self-care along with their ambition are the smartest in this world. You may desire to reach your goals fast, but if you are not healthy enough to enjoy what follows then it’s probably not worth it.
Last week, I woke up to the news of a social media influencer my age taking her own life because her follower count started declining. It shook me to the core. As someone who writes on a relatively safer part of the internet, I have experienced that the more attention we get on social media, the more we crave it, without realising that numbers don’t define us. Before I even started writing, a friend (who still reads my weekly newsletters) told me that no art is bad art. I have held onto these words for years now. As creatives, and humans for that matter, we can show up and give our best. How others react is beyond our control, and perhaps that’s okay.
I hope you know that you can’t please everyone on this planet.I hope you know that you don’t have to either.
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Good work Mansi! I agree with your sentiment that smart people prioritize self care as much as work or even greater. I've heard it being called performative busy-ness. It's silly, yet another invented mode of living for the sake of vanity. I have found paradoxically that when I let my body and mind relax and rejuvenate is when I put out my best work, not when I'm overworked or exhausted. This mode of living is quite unnerving because when you look at the world around you (*LinkedIn cough cough*), it seems like everyone is slamming down cans of Red Bull burning themselves out getting ahead in the rat race.
Beautiful, we have similar trajectories