Ebbs And Flows Of Life (and my journey on Substack)
How I truly feel about my growth on Substack, a platform that has taught me so much about success and failure so far.
Six years ago when I was 18 years old and fresh into university, I saw a 24-year-old me with a master's degree, working full-time for whatever firm that was generous enough to offer me a job.
Six years later, while I work full-time, I decided to pivot and not pursue a master's degree and instead opted for a full-blown professional degree course that would still take years to complete. Somewhere in between this chaos, I mustered the courage to start my newsletter that you now read every Tuesday. (Subscribe if you haven’t already!)
Substack has, and continues to be a wild ride. I joined this platform on May 23rd 2023, when I was totally out of creative energy and a friend told me “What are you doing with your email list of 76 subscribers that hasn’t moved an inch in the last 6 months? Start a Substack instead and you might be able to reach a bigger audience.” So I did that, and nothing happened instantly.
In the first 6 months, 30 new readers decided to join me in this journey of figuring out exactly what I wanted to do with my newsletter.
“People joining from different parts of the world is a big deal.”, I told myself.
2024 was when the numbers started to really move. I decided to take a step towards letting go of my fear of success (a story I’d save for another day) and it completely changed the trajectory of Unwind.
was the first one to restack one of my Notes that went viral.I had a splurge in subscribers from January to April when Notes boomed on Substack. I took a week off from the app to focus on my exams but when I came back, it felt like things had moved so fast on the platform that I was already way behind in the race. However, the reality is that there was no race in the first place. It was just my mind expecting to wake up every day and see the same “⬆ 300 in the last 30 days” on the dashboard.
I have seen these days:
I have also seen these days:
And I am also currently seeing these days:
The truth is that all of us have, and IT’S OKAY, because our journeys were never supposed to be linear.
WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT ‘SUCCESS’ IN THIS JOURNEY
Success is addicting. Once you have had a taste of it, you always end up craving more. But life hardly gives you something you could keep with yourself forever. Achieving ‘success’ as the world sees it is no different. It can fade as quickly as it boomed. As
rightly said, “Things (careers, money, possessions, love, etc.) can be gained and lost, and it can be as if you never had them. Work hard; work right, but never fool yourself that you have in a way that you can't lose. No one is ever this good; no one knows things this well.”Choosing not to confine your life to society’s definition of success does not mean that you should let go of your ambition. I have been experiencing phases of low motivation ever since I realised that I may not be able to turn on paid subscription to my newsletter anytime soon as a writer who resides in India (unless Stripe itself sends me an invite to create an account). For the longest time, I felt like a hypocrite for reaching a phase where I was ready to get paid as a writer. It felt like being pushed back into the race (of constantly chasing more) that I had retired from a while ago. But I realised that we writers don’t attach our happiness to the money our art can generate. We attach our happiness to knowing the fact that we have a choice to potentially make a living out of our passion, which may be extremely difficult, but is totally possible. If we choose to act on that choice or not is a different story altogether.
‘Success’ is something you get to define for yourself. There is no right or definition of it. It’s just what you believe holds true for your life. I choose to tell myself every day that, “I have not failed because 300+ people don’t join my newsletter every single month now. I have succeeded because the 900+ who still choose to support my work exist in the first place.“ Sometimes, when you can see the impossible happen right in front of your eyes, it is a great place to be in itself..
THIS WEEK’s RECOMMENDATIONS
If you enjoy reading Unwind, I would love it if you consider recommending the publication to your readers. Simply go to your dashboard > Recommendations > Manage > Add recommendation > Unwind.
Interesting observations, Mansi, and thanks for that quote.
Things do change quickly on here. Notes did well in Feb and March (for me), but things have slowed down. Now, at 1K, posts get fewer views than when I had 400 subs. On Notes, reach is much reduced.
'Success' if very fluid. Nothing is permanent. We should do things because it makes sense to do them, regardless of the adulation from onlookers.
Thank you for the inclusion Mansi!
I love the transparency of your journey. The addiction of success, or in the case others affirming our art, is real. As I deal with the realness of it, I'm learning what boundaries are required to keep myself centered.