your title "Disconnecting in a connected world" caused me to ponder... so you're saying that you are disconnecting from platforms like IG, and that the people on IG are connected. BUT the fact of the matter is you are the one who is becoming more connected. Connected with yourself, with loved ones, authentic friendships, other endevours etc. I certainly do not feel connected after spending any time at all on IG. That's why I rarely go on it. Great post Mansi, 'preciate it.
Christoph, you couldn't have put it in a better way. This is so so true. We often feel that we are more connected with people on social media but the truth is, and I felt it, that there is no depth in those connections in most cases. I love how you put it. Thank you!!🌻
I’ve been off socials since New Year’s Eve and live has been so much lighter and brighter, I’ve been so much more productive in my real life, my patience has grown tenfold. I think I’ll stay off 🥰
I enjoyed this so much and it makes me appreciate my decision to be off of social media even more. I am over two months free from everything other than Substack and I feel like the first month was a detox. As embarrassing as it is to admit that a mental detox came from it, it’s been years of committing to a way of life controlled by my phone. I love that it changed from year one to year two because I can see how my absence has improved my way of living so much already. There’s a lot of hope and inspiration in your words, and I pray the movement continues to spread so we can get back to what’s in our present lives than what we depict on a screen. Thank you for the read!!
I love that you decided to stay off social media, nothing bad I can point about this decision to be honest. All the best in your journey of figuring out this balance. Sending so much positivity your way✨
After a couple of years of taking breaks from IG and naturally reducing time on apps like Facebook due to their unfortunate evolutions into garbage algorithmic dumpster fires I completely deleted all of my socials at the end of 2023. Like you, I found the opportunity to reallocate my time to hobbies and interests that I’d somehow lost along the way and to pick up some new ones. I also completely stoped wearing makeup at the same time, which I’m sure is a fascinating and deep reflection about my views/beliefs on how I present to the world and myself that I’ll try to dig deeper into someday. The whole process feels like the Braveheart scene with Mel Gibson screaming “Freedommmmmmmmm!”
This was such a heartfelt reflection. It made me think about my own routines as well. I find that interesting things happen when we hop off the online world and start living deeply in our own natural world. When I spend time just sitting with the mountains and cloud in my view, I find that I discover many things about myself. When life slows down, life feels like it's worth living. And your essay helped instill that idea into me again. I'm happy I found your writing, Mansi.
I am so grateful for your wonderful comment. I strongly believe that life is so much more meaningful in the offline world. The connections we can make, the peace we can seek is limitless.
It is doubly interesting because you are also talking about quitting instagram for business, years after turning off your personal one.
I was thinking that perhaps there's another dynamic that arises here.
The discomfort and frustration that occurs when writers, creative people of any kind have to do the job of promoting their own work.
For writers it is usually the case for self published work and blogs, substack (as in your case)
It doesn't fit well because it is rare that one person has all these different skills and personalities.
So I think what ends up happening is someone who is meant to be creating, is on instagram promoting their work and it's not a good fit. Probably ending up getting distracted with it all.
The marketer (let's say they are working with a publishing company), has an objective to promote your work and they will do all the attention seeking stuff and get their work targets in; no distractions. Maybe they even have the bandwidth/personality for it.
That maybe if writers could afford to hire someone else to manage the instagram to promote their work it'd serve their mental state better.
I agree Susanna, the pressure to align with work with the “algorithm” drains me. I am not relying on my writing as a full time job at the moment and that’s why it’s easier for me to step back as compared to folks whose full time job is social media and sharing their work online.
That’s some really valid points you’ve put here!✨
I recently came across a creator who takes a break from Instagram in the last week of each month. I feel like that can also serve as a balanced way to step away from the busyness and invite peace in life✨
“When you are not engaging with someone else’s life via an app, you start observing that your values, circumstances and priorities are unique. So you discover yourself instead of wanting to be someone else. “ This has been my experience too! It has opened me up to so much more creativity🫶
wow thank you for this, im currently experiencing this same thing. enjoying my life without keeping up with everyone else’s life on insta and tiktok, it’s been a breath of fresh air honestly. i find I’ve been loving & understanding myself on a different level and appreciating myself in totality.
Thank you for sharing! I just spent a week without my phone and it has given me plenty to think about, I’ve had a similar experience to some of what you’ve shared. Looking forward to reading more of your writing 💫
Great post! This is something that I have struggled with but working on. I think scrolling on social media is definitely a muscle memory for a lot of people. We think we are distracting ourselves but don’t realize just how bad it can be for our mental health. I think it’s also really hard for content creators and business owners because we feel like we have to post and engage every single day to keep things afloat. Hopefully one day algorithms won’t be in control that way our work can get seen without being on these apps as much. Thank you for sharing this.
Especially the thing you mentioned about muscle memory really took me back to the time when my fingers automatically opened instagram the minute I picked up my phone.
Totally agree with this. I just spent a week without my phone and one of the things that struck me was how often we pick it up to avoid discomfort or thoughts we don’t want to address. It can easily pacify us and result in us not facing difficult feelings or situation which we probably should be addressing.
Absolutely true Jamie! I find myself doing that too, and somehow I have started to notice when that happens and when I can’t stop it leaves me with a headache. I am learning to let go of mindless scrolling too, it creeps into my life sometimes. Thank you for being here!✨
I hope you enjoy being a part of this little community
This was lovely! Thanks for sharing! I just recently left Instagram (what perfect timing for me to see this post), and I don't miss it at all. I call it a "really good breakup" haha
Last year, I deleted my Instagram for the same reason as well. I just felt that I started doing things just because I thought that they would look good on my IG. That left me feeling very shallow. However, I have since redownloaded, albeit on smaller account where I don’t post just to be able to stay in touch with close friends from back home.
I've been off Instagram for a year on 30th April. I still have a FB account as a few paid programs I'm part of host their trainings and lives on the platform. Other than that I'm social media free and I blimmin' love it.
Amongst so many benefits, the one I love the most is now being able to discern what thoughts, feelings, beliefs and opinions are mine and the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of others that I'd unknowingly taken on. You become more You, than you could ever imagine.
I love enjoying other people's experience with their journey too. So many parallels and also unique takeaways too.
I love your comment Misty! It gives hope to many people who want to find the right balance with social media and the real world. It is possible. It’s amazing how we understand ourselves better when we are not engaging with someone else’s life via an app right?
With all the online noise it's no wonder our heart and Truth doesn't get heard. Unplugging has been the best decision, especially for my nervous system.
Gosh, same! I came off instagram in November as a year end break, imagining I’d be back on with healthier boundaries in January — I’m still not ‘back’. It feels amazing if I’m honest and I don’t miss it at all. Something you mentioned about connections with people — I’ve realised just how shallow and unfulfilling those were and actually I want to spend more time in people’s company having real conversations ❤️
I think I don’t miss any of my ‘acquaintances’ or talking to them on and off via stories. The people I miss are just a call away, and it’s amazing to not rely on Instagram stories to know what they are up to✨
“I can choose to deviate from my original plan to protect my inner peace at any time, and the world will still stay intact” - that’s what a life free from the burdens of overwhelming anxiety looks like! I found that so much of my recovery involved learning to not making a catastrophe out of everything. Too, I agree that social media has harnessed areas of the mind that now tend to work against us - such as our desire for attention, feelings of being cared about and loved, and things to stimulate our desensitized brains… all of which should be things that help us function as humans. I hope that you keep exploring the impacts of social media - even though you’re off of it now!
your title "Disconnecting in a connected world" caused me to ponder... so you're saying that you are disconnecting from platforms like IG, and that the people on IG are connected. BUT the fact of the matter is you are the one who is becoming more connected. Connected with yourself, with loved ones, authentic friendships, other endevours etc. I certainly do not feel connected after spending any time at all on IG. That's why I rarely go on it. Great post Mansi, 'preciate it.
Christoph, you couldn't have put it in a better way. This is so so true. We often feel that we are more connected with people on social media but the truth is, and I felt it, that there is no depth in those connections in most cases. I love how you put it. Thank you!!🌻
This was a beautiful reply, Christoph. I think you hit the nail on the head!
I’ve been off socials since New Year’s Eve and live has been so much lighter and brighter, I’ve been so much more productive in my real life, my patience has grown tenfold. I think I’ll stay off 🥰
I love this🥰
I don’t plan on getting back to it either. Love the person I am becoming by focusing on intentionality instead.
Sending so much positivity your way💛
I enjoyed this so much and it makes me appreciate my decision to be off of social media even more. I am over two months free from everything other than Substack and I feel like the first month was a detox. As embarrassing as it is to admit that a mental detox came from it, it’s been years of committing to a way of life controlled by my phone. I love that it changed from year one to year two because I can see how my absence has improved my way of living so much already. There’s a lot of hope and inspiration in your words, and I pray the movement continues to spread so we can get back to what’s in our present lives than what we depict on a screen. Thank you for the read!!
Thank you for your words Kasey!
I love that you decided to stay off social media, nothing bad I can point about this decision to be honest. All the best in your journey of figuring out this balance. Sending so much positivity your way✨
After a couple of years of taking breaks from IG and naturally reducing time on apps like Facebook due to their unfortunate evolutions into garbage algorithmic dumpster fires I completely deleted all of my socials at the end of 2023. Like you, I found the opportunity to reallocate my time to hobbies and interests that I’d somehow lost along the way and to pick up some new ones. I also completely stoped wearing makeup at the same time, which I’m sure is a fascinating and deep reflection about my views/beliefs on how I present to the world and myself that I’ll try to dig deeper into someday. The whole process feels like the Braveheart scene with Mel Gibson screaming “Freedommmmmmmmm!”
Christina, that is so beautiful. I am sure you look BEAUTIFUL without makeup as well✨
That is the whole point behind moving on from social media, to find yourself. And I am so glad you did🫂
This was such a heartfelt reflection. It made me think about my own routines as well. I find that interesting things happen when we hop off the online world and start living deeply in our own natural world. When I spend time just sitting with the mountains and cloud in my view, I find that I discover many things about myself. When life slows down, life feels like it's worth living. And your essay helped instill that idea into me again. I'm happy I found your writing, Mansi.
Thank you!✨
I am so grateful for your wonderful comment. I strongly believe that life is so much more meaningful in the offline world. The connections we can make, the peace we can seek is limitless.
So glad to have you join this little community ✨
Thank you for sharing this Mansi.
It is doubly interesting because you are also talking about quitting instagram for business, years after turning off your personal one.
I was thinking that perhaps there's another dynamic that arises here.
The discomfort and frustration that occurs when writers, creative people of any kind have to do the job of promoting their own work.
For writers it is usually the case for self published work and blogs, substack (as in your case)
It doesn't fit well because it is rare that one person has all these different skills and personalities.
So I think what ends up happening is someone who is meant to be creating, is on instagram promoting their work and it's not a good fit. Probably ending up getting distracted with it all.
The marketer (let's say they are working with a publishing company), has an objective to promote your work and they will do all the attention seeking stuff and get their work targets in; no distractions. Maybe they even have the bandwidth/personality for it.
That maybe if writers could afford to hire someone else to manage the instagram to promote their work it'd serve their mental state better.
But I guess one can only wish.
I agree Susanna, the pressure to align with work with the “algorithm” drains me. I am not relying on my writing as a full time job at the moment and that’s why it’s easier for me to step back as compared to folks whose full time job is social media and sharing their work online.
That’s some really valid points you’ve put here!✨
I recently came across a creator who takes a break from Instagram in the last week of each month. I feel like that can also serve as a balanced way to step away from the busyness and invite peace in life✨
That does sound like it could work as a compromise.
“When you are not engaging with someone else’s life via an app, you start observing that your values, circumstances and priorities are unique. So you discover yourself instead of wanting to be someone else. “ This has been my experience too! It has opened me up to so much more creativity🫶
Absolutely Laura, staying off socials has more benefits than we think. Developing this detachment from our phones is so important ✨
wow thank you for this, im currently experiencing this same thing. enjoying my life without keeping up with everyone else’s life on insta and tiktok, it’s been a breath of fresh air honestly. i find I’ve been loving & understanding myself on a different level and appreciating myself in totality.
I love that!🥹
Honestly we need to give ourselves more time just to do things for our inner peace. I love that you’re enjoying your time off social media
Thank you for sharing! I just spent a week without my phone and it has given me plenty to think about, I’ve had a similar experience to some of what you’ve shared. Looking forward to reading more of your writing 💫
Great post! This is something that I have struggled with but working on. I think scrolling on social media is definitely a muscle memory for a lot of people. We think we are distracting ourselves but don’t realize just how bad it can be for our mental health. I think it’s also really hard for content creators and business owners because we feel like we have to post and engage every single day to keep things afloat. Hopefully one day algorithms won’t be in control that way our work can get seen without being on these apps as much. Thank you for sharing this.
Especially the thing you mentioned about muscle memory really took me back to the time when my fingers automatically opened instagram the minute I picked up my phone.
Really happy to let go of that toxic habit now!
I hope so too Vonn! So well said👏🏻
Totally agree with this. I just spent a week without my phone and one of the things that struck me was how often we pick it up to avoid discomfort or thoughts we don’t want to address. It can easily pacify us and result in us not facing difficult feelings or situation which we probably should be addressing.
Absolutely true Jamie! I find myself doing that too, and somehow I have started to notice when that happens and when I can’t stop it leaves me with a headache. I am learning to let go of mindless scrolling too, it creeps into my life sometimes. Thank you for being here!✨
I hope you enjoy being a part of this little community
This was lovely! Thanks for sharing! I just recently left Instagram (what perfect timing for me to see this post), and I don't miss it at all. I call it a "really good breakup" haha
Hahah I love that!!👏🏻✨😂
Last year, I deleted my Instagram for the same reason as well. I just felt that I started doing things just because I thought that they would look good on my IG. That left me feeling very shallow. However, I have since redownloaded, albeit on smaller account where I don’t post just to be able to stay in touch with close friends from back home.
Ahmedh, it takes courage to admit that and I applaud you for it. 👏🏻
I love that you’ve found a balance now. ✨
It's great to read , some amazed things sometimes
Thank you for being here✨
I've been off Instagram for a year on 30th April. I still have a FB account as a few paid programs I'm part of host their trainings and lives on the platform. Other than that I'm social media free and I blimmin' love it.
Amongst so many benefits, the one I love the most is now being able to discern what thoughts, feelings, beliefs and opinions are mine and the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of others that I'd unknowingly taken on. You become more You, than you could ever imagine.
I love enjoying other people's experience with their journey too. So many parallels and also unique takeaways too.
I love your comment Misty! It gives hope to many people who want to find the right balance with social media and the real world. It is possible. It’s amazing how we understand ourselves better when we are not engaging with someone else’s life via an app right?
With all the online noise it's no wonder our heart and Truth doesn't get heard. Unplugging has been the best decision, especially for my nervous system.
Gosh, same! I came off instagram in November as a year end break, imagining I’d be back on with healthier boundaries in January — I’m still not ‘back’. It feels amazing if I’m honest and I don’t miss it at all. Something you mentioned about connections with people — I’ve realised just how shallow and unfulfilling those were and actually I want to spend more time in people’s company having real conversations ❤️
Yess Nicole!
I think I don’t miss any of my ‘acquaintances’ or talking to them on and off via stories. The people I miss are just a call away, and it’s amazing to not rely on Instagram stories to know what they are up to✨
“I can choose to deviate from my original plan to protect my inner peace at any time, and the world will still stay intact” - that’s what a life free from the burdens of overwhelming anxiety looks like! I found that so much of my recovery involved learning to not making a catastrophe out of everything. Too, I agree that social media has harnessed areas of the mind that now tend to work against us - such as our desire for attention, feelings of being cared about and loved, and things to stimulate our desensitized brains… all of which should be things that help us function as humans. I hope that you keep exploring the impacts of social media - even though you’re off of it now!
Thank you for your kind words and insights Emily♥️