Old Friendships
Reminiscing friendships that feel like home, straight from my heart to yours.
As I sit here in front of my laptop in the middle of the night, waiting for my friends to reply to the messages I sent days ago, I wonder how much things have changed in the last few years. As an awkward teenager who struggled to converse with strangers, even acquaintances, I remember having a close-knit group of friends in school, even though I was mostly part of multiple groups that had just one person besides me.
I remember walking straight to my friends in the classroom every day, excited to describe how my day went post-school the day before. Sometimes, we’d laugh over a hilarious meme or a random throwback image sent on the WhatsApp group, and sometimes we would gang up for notes on that one friend in the group who managed to finish their homework on time. It was silly but incredible how we were aware of even the most mundane details in each other's lives.
I often wonder if these old friendships are lost in time now and I believe they are not. We might be walking on a foggy road, but as soon as we lift our arms in distress, asking for help, there will come a familiar touch, transferring the strength needed to walk through the haze.
It is not easy to grow older while replacing people who used to be a part of your daily life. Cancelling plans for lunch because one person cannot make it, calling someone only to hear back that they are busy living their life of which you are not an active part anymore hurts. But this hurt occurs only when you know these friendships mean something to you. Perhaps these friendships are your only solace in a world where feeling lost is bound to be a part of your journey. Maybe it is an inner desire to stay connected to the people who shaped you into the person you are today.
When I catch up with old friends, the conversations feel as though I am entering a house full of familiar people, where I know I can be my authentic self without hesitation, where I know I am safe and away from all the miseries of adulting.
But even in those times, I am fearful of the thought of not seeing them again for the next few months, to carry on with life knowing that the feeling of belongingness is a bit distant, uncertain as to when it will be felt again..
Lovely post as always. I sometimes become upset when I think about how “busy” many of my friends and family members are, and it can be disappointing, but key is letting go and rekindling with the people who do make the time